Beauty

Last night, I realized, I change my profile pictures when everyone stops commenting. Why? Because when everyone comments on my pictures, I feel like the rest of my friends; beautiful.In the past, I've been very self concord about my looks, among many other things. This is mainly due to society. Because, I have guy friends, but they'd "never look at me that way" but they sit there and tell me how GORGEOUS my best friend is; kind of frustrating on my end. . .
Anywho, back to my first realization. I realized, I rely of society to tell me how beautiful I am by my looks, when what matters is what is in my heart. I think, personally, not to be full of myself, that I am beautiful, inside and out. And I decided, as of last night, to complement everyone. If I can't do it, I might as well delete them from Facebook. The world needs a few more kind people and a million more complements. I'm on a mission. This should be fun.

Fighting society, one wall post at a time.

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Family

Recently, my grandmother, whom I related to on a deeper level than I knew for a long time, passed away due to Cancer. Tonight, my family gathered to celebrate the way she would have wanted; barbecue style. Everyone seemed so carefree and happy. But I sat in the corner, a little disappointed in the fact that my family just left me there to sulk. They didn't even bat an eye. I guess I should be on the happy train too, seeing as though the rest of my life is pretty good right now. But I'm not. They're all sitting around the tables on the deck as I'm posting this. I don't know why, but during things like this, I tend to shy away, maybe because I want to be payed attention to. I think it's a teen thing. "Notice me" is the one thing going through my head at family gatherings. And I forgot to mention, I happen to be the only girl child, and with only four women (all mothers and/or grandmothers) and nine men (including my younger brother and cousin) I end up being left out. And though, in a public setting, I may seem like the type of person to just go out seeking attention, I'm NOT that kind of person.. So here I am, sitting on the couch, typing this up.. Man this is a lot!
Plus, my older brother and his fiance decided to come. And, boys being boys, my younger brother hogged him, and of course, Lena (his fiance) not being "part of the family" yet, was attached to his hip. So I didn't get any time with him. Which is something I need. I haven't had a TRUE conversation with my older brother for a long time. Probably since the New Years I spent with him (a LONG time ago) I miss my brother. Anthony, if you (or Lena) read this... I miss you. <3

Did I mention, I have a killer headache? and a 12 year old brother, 9 year old cousin, and an older brother who acts like he's 10 DON'T help. :/

Well, that's my rant for today. Thanks for reading!

xoxo,
Marjean. ♥

This funny thing called "drill"

When most people think of drill they think this;


Yeah.. not that.






I'm talking about this;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXcxaBK82Qw
THIS is a "drill team." A sport (kind of in between ROTC and cheer) that's pretty select to the Seattle/Washington area, though there's a team in Idaho, too! Drill teams are commanded by voice and wistle and commanded by a captain (the one in the orange in the video). This is just one team, and it happens to be the All-City (A competition where all drill teams in the state come together to compete) and State (once again, a competition where all the teams [or ones sponsored by the Eagles] come together to compete) champions. I am a member of this team (The Highlanders Drill Team) and first lieutenant (second rank, one below captain). We march in parades, competitions and exhibitions around the state, in Canada and, this year, Oregon.  If you have any questions, feel free to ask them in the comments below(:

Anywhoo.. now that y'all know what it is...

Today, my team marched in a parade. This is my first parade in a while, due to the fact Parade Season has just begun. ("Parade Season" is the time of the year where all the parades happen... pretty simple) There's just a certain rush about performing in public.. (: I love my team so much. NICE JOB to everyone in the parade (all the teams and other groups in the parade!) I'm SO excited for the rest of Seafair week!

Thanks for reading another enormous blog post.

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Boys... Oh man...

I know, I've already blogged today.. and that might be enough for the average person.. but I'm kinda.. really anxious to get this out there... So now, onto a different subject, kinda. Boys.

There's this one... We got really close. He's so sweet and caring and compassionate. He's Christian (like me), musical, and just freaking cute. I could go on and on about him.. but I won't. (: Unfortunately, he moved to Korea for family reasons... I don't know if he realizes it, but I love him to death.. And the fact that the next time I might see him is after we die (which is FOREVER from now) hurts me so much. I wish he'd open up to me and tell me how he feels. I just want to understand him.... 

And boy number two... He's kinda... I don't know. Super sweet, caring, ect.. but there's these things, that just aren't okay for me right now. And I can't just tell him to go, because I care about him so much. He's an amazing person, and so caring towards me and others. I can't just break things off... Dilemma. :/

And boy three... He's just great! We haven't known eachother long, and he doesn't seem to notice me as "pretty" or even flirt with me.. But maybe the fact that he's never had a girlfriend contibutes to that. He's nerdy, and quirky, smart and funny.. He just amazes me. He's not afraid to be himself, and that alone makes me like him. (: But I just wish he'd realize me, because right now, he's the guy of choice, because guy one's in Korea, guy two just isn't working... and Fred's in a different state. I wish he'd notice me too... (: 

And finally, Fred. (: You've all heard about him, right? If not, look at my second post.. You'll figure it out there. (; I can't wait for him to come back to Washington... (: 

So now, you know what's going on with my life. No, I'm not an attention whore, whore in general, slut or skank. Even if it looks like it, I'm not. I just... I don't know. I'm a teen, my life is confusing. Try being me for a day.. You still wouldn't understand. 

But that's my life with boys, right now. I'll keep you updated. :P 

With love,

Marjean. ♥

Just Another Day in the Life of a Socially Awkward Teen...

Wankaroo (Inside joke. Nickname for a friend and fellow blogger.) and I decided to Skype my buddy Fred (from the previous post). We then proceed to laugh at inside jokes, play with silly string, and laugh hysterically at how weird we are. We're the raondomest (that's not a word..) people.. possibly ever. And I think we creeped him out. Woops. I still feel bad, Fred (if you read this, and figure out who you are...)

Today was just another good day in my life.. I seem to be having quite a few of those... (:

Thanks for reading... there's a continuation to come later.. I just didn't want to make a HUGE post, so you could pick and choose what you decide to read.(;

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

My first thoughts on this new blog...

I decided that I should start off with some feelings.. About today and such...

Today, a friend of mine felt like he didn't belong here... For some background info, I've been that person, and I've always wanted to help that kind of person.. or any person in general. I tried telling him to believe what he preached (because last night, he saved a life). And I think that, in itself, is life lesson for everyone to realize, maybe not by my simple words in a blogpost, but in general. Believe what you say.. Because what's the use of saying something you don't believe in and don't want to fight for?

Another thing... There's this boy. You don't need a name.. but let's call him Fred (for the sake of protecting his identity). He's so sweet, caring, considerate.. but I don't know him. He went to camp with my friend.. and I guess she talks a lot about me. So he added me and we immediately hit it off... I wish he didn't live so far away! :P I don't know.. Maybe it's just my luck. Every guy I seem to like is unavalible in some sort of way. But maybe it's all meant to be in some random, weird sense of life. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Finally, my family's been having some really hard problems to deal with.. and I'm really inspired with the way they're handling it.. They can still sit around the dinner table, laugh and smile and make pleasant conversation. Then can look at me an my brother (12) and tell us everything is going to be okay with a straight face. It's inspiring and it keeps me going on with life. I guess that's why I'm still here. My family is so strong and uplifting. (:

This is REALLY long, sorry to all my readers! I just wanted to start this blog off right! (:
Please come back and read more!(:

Thanks!
xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Getting Started...

Recently, I've been seeing my friends starting blogs about their lives, their problems, struggles, what have you, and I decided., if they can do it, so can I. (: So here I am.. Starting my blog off right with a HELLO to all bloggers, and whoever is unfortunate enough to stumble upon my page(;
I'll be here for a while.. So get used to it.


Hope you enjoy my blogposts to come! (:

xoxo,
Marjean.♥