Family

Recently, my grandmother, whom I related to on a deeper level than I knew for a long time, passed away due to Cancer. Tonight, my family gathered to celebrate the way she would have wanted; barbecue style. Everyone seemed so carefree and happy. But I sat in the corner, a little disappointed in the fact that my family just left me there to sulk. They didn't even bat an eye. I guess I should be on the happy train too, seeing as though the rest of my life is pretty good right now. But I'm not. They're all sitting around the tables on the deck as I'm posting this. I don't know why, but during things like this, I tend to shy away, maybe because I want to be payed attention to. I think it's a teen thing. "Notice me" is the one thing going through my head at family gatherings. And I forgot to mention, I happen to be the only girl child, and with only four women (all mothers and/or grandmothers) and nine men (including my younger brother and cousin) I end up being left out. And though, in a public setting, I may seem like the type of person to just go out seeking attention, I'm NOT that kind of person.. So here I am, sitting on the couch, typing this up.. Man this is a lot!
Plus, my older brother and his fiance decided to come. And, boys being boys, my younger brother hogged him, and of course, Lena (his fiance) not being "part of the family" yet, was attached to his hip. So I didn't get any time with him. Which is something I need. I haven't had a TRUE conversation with my older brother for a long time. Probably since the New Years I spent with him (a LONG time ago) I miss my brother. Anthony, if you (or Lena) read this... I miss you. <3

Did I mention, I have a killer headache? and a 12 year old brother, 9 year old cousin, and an older brother who acts like he's 10 DON'T help. :/

Well, that's my rant for today. Thanks for reading!

xoxo,
Marjean. ♥