What have romantic comedies done to me, now?!

So, recently, I've been getting a lot of grief about the way I've been acting. I guess I talk about boys, a lot. And I guess my taste in boys is quite bad, also. Or so my friends seem to think. You see, I have a tendancy to like boys that fit one or more of these criteria:
1. Complete jerks
2. Pervs
3. TAKEN
4. Completely unattractive
5. Immoral

Now, you see... this upsets my friends. Because, when I fall for a guy, I fall HARD. So, no matter how much my friends tell me he fits one (or more) of the above criteria, I don't listen. And then I end up waiting like a creepy stalker chick, for him to be my Prince Charming (Which we ALL know isn't likely). Now, you see, my friends finally, and all together (without realizing) told me that the guys I fall for are... well... see above. Now, this shouldn't bug me, should it? Well, it does. For a multitude of reasons. But I've come to the conclusion that there is only ONE reason that matters.

They're right. I've been trying so hard to find a guy that was going to be my Prince (This is what too many romantic comedies do to a person.... Please, don't try this at home) that I forgot about all the things that mattered to me. All the high standards (Well, maybe TOO high) I've set for myself and for what I want out of things. I've forgotten that who takes me to dances in high school, and who I spend maybe a month of my life with. It's not even about finding the "right" guy. MY life should be about school, drill, family, friends, and most of all God. Boys shouldn't be my main train of thought. I'm 14 for goodness sake! The only thing boys are good for at this age is sports and getting dumb girls pregnant. I mean, yes there are those exceptional guys. "I'm the exception! Not the rule." To He's Just Not That Into You. There's always going to be one or two guys that are "different". But they shouldn't have to TELL you that. And if something's right, it'll find YOU, right? So, I don't need to keep thinking and SEARCHING for something I don't NEED right now in my life. I've been blessed with what I already have... I think I can quit complaining now... (:



Oh, and on a side note; the post I made about orientation... well, to be quite frank, SUCKED.So here's the rundown. We "played" some icebreaker games, signed a gown, got a tee shirt, watched an anti-bullying video, and got our STILL tentative schedules. But ahh, the highlight of the day? A tiny itty bitty little Jesus moment, right when I needed it. You see, I was in the middle of freaking out, about high school, a guy (whom I don't really like because he treated me like dirt), and not having anyone to talk to in the moment. And then; BAM. A Jesus moment. This guy I know mutters "Everybody gets one" to his friend, and I freak. Everybody gets one, except Jesus, he gets three. It kind of made everything okay, in the moment. And to this I say: BOOM SHAKA LAKA!!!


All is well, again,
xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Orientation

So. Today was freshman orientation. And it's supposed to orient you to the school, the vibe, etc... Well, yeah no. I'm nervous more so than ever, and I didn't learn anything. Well, except, of course, that bullying is bad. But that's about it. I walked around the school like an idiot, trying to find where my classes were, signed the gown that goes on the wall to represent the class of 2015, got fitted for my marching band uniform (OHMYGOSH, it's horrendous... D:) and checked out all the cute guys.
And...Well... uh. I'm just down right intimidated. The hallways  get pretty full, man. And quite confusing. There's people from my past that I'll see for the first time in years; who knows what they'll think. The stakes are higher. School is harder.
Only four more years. Then you're off to the rest of your life. The. Rest. Of. Our. Lives. Woah. Four years back I was starting fifth grade... Woah! That wasn't even that long ago. Think of how much faster now it's going to be, now that we're busy and older. Time's going to fly past. I don't know if I'm ready for that. For the people I'll encounter, both good and bad. The teachers. All six (or seven) I have, x4 years... All the crazy fun dances, assemblies, games. I don't know if I can handle that, yet...

Oh well..
xoxo,
Marjean.♥

My Sunday/Monday thoughts...

So, yesterday was Sunday. The most amazing day. Why? Because it's another day I get to be with my best friend, "Movie Night" with said friend, YOUTH GROUP, and just an all around GREAT day to end the weekend with. This Sunday was particularly amazing. We went to the beach at sunset, had a crazy dinner conversation, dyed our hair (Mine's purple underneath now, instead of pink, and her's is turquoise, instead of greenish/blondish), watched movies, and went on a "run." I think that was an amazing Sunday and Monday (morning).

Ahh, but alas! Now, I'm supposed to be working on my 9th grade honors English project (Read To Kill A Mockingbird and create a storyboard). Yeah... Not as easy as you'd think... I even chose to clean up my closet and room instead of typing up the writing part. And that's saying something, because I hate to clean my room. :O

And tomorrow, is my first REAL taste of high school. Orientation. I've got my "tentive" schedule, and tomorrow I get to be oriented to the school... Oh man. I'm nervous already. Kind of irrationally, because I know I won't die, I know I'll know people, and I'll be FINE! But that doesn't stop my stomach from knotting up. Wish me luck! I'll do great (I hope)! I'll update you (A.K.A. tell you how orientation went) tomorrow!

OH! And I finally woke up at a decent hour! 8 compared to noon! But then again, I went to bed at 1 instead of 3 or 4. STILL! Getting on track for 5:30 every morning... Ohhh geezzzzz.

Watch out, high school! Here I come!!
xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Because life's too short!

Yesterday,I said the most profound and thoughtful thing... "SMILE! Because life's too short for a  long face."

It just came to me, giving me a reason to never be sad again... Because pain is only temporary. Life's too short to wallow around and cry about every little thing. I mean, being able to express your emotions is very important, but why be sad when there's always something to smile about. Maybe it's something extravagant, like the guy you've like for over a year asks you out, or you make the sports team you've been working towards for the longest time... or maybe it's something simple, like finding a quarter on the ground, or thinking about how fortunate you are to have food every night. But think abut it; if it only takes one small thing to make you sad and cry, why does it take so much for you to be happy? It shouldn't be that way! Smile because you're alive, and you made it through another day on this crazy planet. Be happy because you have food, clothes, a house (apartment, town house, etc.), a computer, a phone. Because so many people don't have those luxuries. 

But promise me one thing.. . . 

Smile because you CAN not because you HAVE TO!!!

Always smiling... well almost always. (;

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Adventure...

So, today, I decided to take another leap of faith. Allowing my friend creative license with my hair. Before, it was about arm-pit level, my bangs were sweepy and annoying, to give you a mental image. Now, it's at my jawline, I have blunt bangs, and it's dyed pink underneath. More of a magenta, actually. I kind of love it, but my brother says I look like his girlfriend's sister. Complement? I sure hope so.

And this led me to realize, I'm in that teenage time all parents hate. I'm being adventurous. This is about the time teens pierce every part of their body, experiment with drugs and alcohol, and break laws. Now, mid you, I'm not about to go drinking and smoking and such. Or any of those, for that matter. But this is also the time I'll loose friends to that, and make new ones. This is the time where everything can change. And all I can hope is that nothing will. Here's to a great next year. High school, here I come.

Always adventurous,
xoxo,
Marjean. ♥

Nerves...

So, I get my first high school schedule. Tentative, of course, I won't get my solid schedule until the first day. But it got me thinking. Oh my goodness. What if I don't know anyone in my classes? What if I get completely lost? What if it's like seventh grade all over?

But that got me thinking... Not many people I know in any of my classes? Fresh start. Getting lost? I've got ten minutes, I'll figure it out. Seventh grade? Well, that turned out, alright, didn't it? :P

And for every negative, there will always be a positive. So don't worry, right? Wrong. I'm a Nervous Nelly, Worry Wart, and every other nickname of that nature.. I'm always going to worry... Even if it's no big deal. I over analyze, over think, and over do everything.  (okay, this right here is becoming pointless)

No now, I wait.. and in the mean time, I'm getting my hair cut, Wednesday. Schedule Friday. Church Sunday. Orientation Tuesday. Church the next Sunday. School on the seventh...Oh my.. So worried.

Hoping for the best...
xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Deep in thought? Lost in emotion?

So, I said I'd keep you updated. So here I am, updating you...

Not much to say. Didn't really think much... I don't have much to think about.. I feel dull, thoughtless, emotionless. It's a confusing state, to be in. Everything feels like I'm underwater; sound, feeling, weight... all a little different. Today's a little... different. Maybe by tonight I'll be able to feel, more... I'm just as lost as you are... I don't get it, either. ahah.

Until next time.

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Deep in though?

Today there was a pool party for my youth group. I've got to say... that was the most fun I've had in a while. Being with them, and surrounded by love for me and God, is kind of epic, and sort of overwhelming...

Now, I'm sitting here, trying to reflect on how I feel about tonight, boys, God, friends, family... As always, my small, direct train of thought has ventured off... I'll keep you updated (A.K.A. let you know if I come to any revaluations) on what's going on in my head... Meanwhile, please hold *annoying hold music*

Thanks for reading!

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

My extremely long, but totally worth it rant...

Today I was thinking about social class and the "what if...'s" of it.

What if...
I had a cabin?
A boat?
Got my own car when I turned 16?
Got allowance?
Had a Mac and iPhone?
Never had to worry about where money was going to come from?
Had more than enough wiggle room, month to month?
I could go to the mall and not think, "If only I had money..."
I went on family vacations all over the U.S.?

Well, the answer to all of those questions is simple.

I wouldn't be ME. I wouldn't have had to deal with all the hard things I have. I wouldn't have known what it feels like to work for my money I get. I wouldn't have had the imagination to play rodeo with a jump rope or Starbucks with my shampoo and conditioner. I wouldn't have known how it felt to be grateful for the food on my plate, clothes on my back, roof over my head and family surrounding me. I wouldn't have made the friends I did, I wouldn't have created such great bonds over what I did. I wouldn't be so caring, because I learned from my pain, everyone needs that. I wouldn't have found God. I wouldn't have done anything I have today... I just, wouldn't be me.

I know, that sounds really shallow, attributing all of my personality, actions, etc. to my social standings... but think about it; what if you had a million dollars? Most people would say "give it to charity" but would you really? There are so many things people want in life, mostly materialistic items that'll just be obsolete in a matter of years. So why do we need them? To show off our social status. It all seems to come back to that. No one wants to be poor. But the fact of the matter is that a LOT of families are. 1/8 people rely on food banks. That means 7/8 people have money for food, or don't seek help from food banks, when they should. Society's kind of sickening, and I'm not saying I'm not a part of society, but I wish I wasn't. There is so much in this world that  should be done, NEEDS to be done... And there are so many FORTUNATE people, in this world. if everyone who had "extra money" gave up a penny a day, you know how much money we could raise? But, of course, if you ask anyone if they have "extra money" and they'll tell you no. Why can't we all just suck it up and help out a little?
Just saying.

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Dear Boy...

Dear Boy,
    You just came into my life trying to catch my attention, huh? Well, you've got it. It's crazy how small of a world this is, finding you, here, in a place where I have found myself. I have discovered your sweet, sensitive, compassionate, Godly soul. I have found common interests, unusual bonds, and just pure infatuation within you.  I feel connected by God with you, and I feel like you are part of God's plan for me. I find you popping up in conversations, pictures of friends, everywhere. And every time I see your face, I get a mini heart attack and start giggling like a moron. Your passion for God, family and life inspires me. I wish I could be as great as you. I don't quite understand you, or why God made you such a huge part of my life, right now, but I'm thankful. And I know, I don't have much of a chance with you, but man, I'm standing right in front of you...

xoxo,
Girl.♥

Church life

Today, I went to youth group, which is one of THE most life changing experiences I've encountered. Ever. I love my church, my people, my pastors, worship, praise, the Lord... It's all just amazing. And tonight, I felt that God wanted me to mend the broken friendships of my past, to encounter new people, and bring them to His Kingdom. And there are so many people around me, inspiring me to do so. So many in God's plan, willing me forward on my journey. And they might not know it, but they are the reason I am so happy right now. God is great, His people are great, and I'm just so happy with what He has given me. Sorry, if this turned out to offend any of my readers, and please don't let this post STOP you from reading. Because I'm more than just a "Jesus Freak" I am a human. Give me a shot... (:

Much love,
xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Love...?

So... there's this guy, whom I've been hopelessly, and incredibly infatuated with since the beginning of seventh grade (literally the FIRST DAY of school). It's been two years, and I'm still crazy over him. I don't even know why. Yes, feelings faded over the summers, but as soon as I thought about him, saw him, dreamed about him... my feelings flooded back. I guess I could say "I don't know what it is, about him!" but in reality, I do. He's my "perfect guy" in almost every way. I'd list the ways, but I don't really need him to figure it out. The worst part is, he's showed interest in almost every one of my friends, and never even batted an eye towards me. I know I should just get over him, believe me, I know.. I've been told enough by my friends.. whom can't even really stand him. But the thing is, even if people give me a MILLION reasons to hate him, even if HE gives me a million reasons to hate him, I still seem to find that single reason to stay. I guess even more, I should try because  he's dating a friend of mine. For a while now. But yet, still... I'm stuck. Maybe it's part of being a teen.. Maybe I'm crazy.. But man, I'm hooked, on this boy.
Blarg.
That is all.

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Homemade

Today, I found a "recipe" for shampoo and conditioner. It's actually really simple, too. (I'll put the recipe down at the bottom of the post.) So, I tried it out. So far, it's amazing. my hair doesn't feel as heavy, or look as dark. It dried a MILLION times faster (and I have thick hair, so this is amazing!). I can't say I could have been more pleased! Being a teenage girl, hair, skin, clothes, popularity, are all important. And I've found homemade things (including skincare products, hair care products, cookies [always make you popular], etc) are always.. and I mean ALWAYS better. I absolutely love making things at home!(:

As promised here are the "recipes" !!!
Shampoo:

• 1 tablespoon of baking soda
• One cup of water

You take these, put them in an old shampoo bottle and shake!

Conditioner:

• 1 tablespoon vinegar (of any kind. I prefer cider because it's got a less obnoxious smell.)
• One cup of water

You take these, put them in an old conditioner bottle, shake, and there you go!

If you want any more ideas for homemade beauty treatments/supplies, GOOGLE IT! (<---answer to everything.)

Until next time!

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Just thoughts...

Today, I spent a lot of time thinking about life. And, though it is only half way through the day, I have already though more than my daily share. I thought about my inspiration, my passions, my goals, basically, my life. I asked myself "Who inspires you?", "What do you REALLY want to do with your life?", "What is 'love'?", things along those lines. I also thought about God and my faith, which has become a big part of my life recently. And, I feel as if I should blog about this stuff... And so here I am.. Contemplating life...
Who inspires me? First of all, my family, who have put up with me for almost 15 years (and my mom, who has put up with me for longer... haha). They're so strong and devoted to being the best they can be.. It's amazing.
Second, my best friends, whom all walk completely different life paths, but can still come together to watch Disney movies, eat fattening foods and giggle about our newest crushes.. And then spiral off into the deepest conversations ever.
Third, the people I know whom have wanted to end it all, and still found faith in life. That's something so many have failed to do, and have taken their lives... That in itself gives me hope. And inspires me to live life to the fullest.
Fourth, Doug. Yeah, photographer, Coastie, father, husband, man of God, and all around amazing person. Mhmmm, that one. To be so devoted to family, God, your passion and your work... I could only ever HOPE to be as great of person as you. And Corrie, you're quite amazing too. Raising your kids, Graduating with a masters while doing so, Finding a job, being committed to God, caring and compassionate towards others.. Wow. You're just great. And together, you've raised beautiful, amazing kids, so far! (:
Fifth, everyone at my church... You're such amazing people, the youth leaders deliver such POWERFUL messages and you're SO welcoming, towards EVERYONE. You are all just so inspiring. And I love you all.
Not to mention all the adults whom have entered my life, warmed my heart, and been so caring and kind. I love you!!!
What do I want to do with my life? Photographer? Yes? Maybe? It seems a lot harder than I would have thought.. I don't know if I'm cut out for it...
What is love? I'll get back to you on that one..

Still thinking. . .

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Hackers

Today, one of my friends got hacked on Facebook. And not one of those friendly "Way to leave your Facebook open on my computer, _____. Haha. I love you♥" statuses.. This hacker decided to post various statuses about how fat, ugly, skanky, etc. this girl is... which isn't even REMOTELY true.. Of course, this caused a million and one comments all over the statuses they posted, wall posts saying how much they love the hack-ee. This made me think...
What the HECK is wrong with society?! What in GOD's NAME possessed people to think things like this are OKAY, or even SANE?! I don't understand what people gain from putting others down, especially over Facebook, texting, etc. It makes no sense! It's not like anyone's going to believe someone who hacks into a Facebook anyway. Yes, their friends are going to come to her rescue, and tell the hacker off.. But those are going to be the only people who CARE enough to read it. Because the hack-ee's haters aren't going to read the status, it says it's from HER, anyway. So the audience is the people that love the hack-ee, and if they choose to believe a hacker over a real person, that's their loss. Therefore, the only possible reason is to get a rise out of everyone. Which I could see as a viable reason., but a DUMB one.. Because you can get arrested, taken to court, all that stuff.
My point is, I don't understand what television, music, personal influences, etc. are teaching kids, but this is terrible, and I hope my kids never have to deal with this kind of stuff.
It's official; society sucks.

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

Trolling

I, as a person, have no personal prejudice against anyone person, group of people, etc. I know, that's like, humanly impossible, but unless someone gives me a GOOD reason to dislike someone, I won't.
There's this guy, who seems to enjoy "trolling" on people's Facebook statuses about how "dumb" their thoughts are, how "stupid" the people commenting are and how "good" his beliefs are... This seems to be a common trend among teenage boys. I don't understand why telling people they're stupid, wrong and proving themselves superior makes anything better, especially over a Facebook status, but it seems to. Usually it's on views of politics, LGBTQIA rights, Womens' rights, etc. And it upsets me that people are using THEIR "rights" to "troll" all over Facebook. I feel, personally, that it's a violation of another's rights to be told their OPINION is "wrong" especially by someone who's in it JUST to piss people off. The thing about trollers, is that they make it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to ignore them. They start by making a completely slanderous remark towards your beliefs, and human nature makes you want to defend your ideals and yourself. Thus creating an argument over a Facebook status in which you cannot beat the troller, because when you seem to have beaten them, they go back, re-read, and make another slanderous remark, causing further problems and irritation, and of course laughs for the troller. I guess, the point of this blogpost is just to say how IRRITATING it is to have people tell you you'er "wrong", "dumb" and that they're "highly superior" to you. Like, yes, I can understand contradicting someone's beliefs with your own, but fighting over "right" and "wrong" and over who's beliefs are "superior" is the most asinine idea ever. So to all you trollers in the world, think about how others feel, and maybe, even just for a day, cut it out. Because you're starting to piss the world off (or, at least me).

xoxo,
Marjean.♥

High School

I looked at my calendar today. (She says, sounding INSANELY boring)
Today is August 3rd. In just over a month, I will be taking my first steps into high school as a freshman. I've decided to make a list of fears, excitements, revelations, etc. (like a pro/con list)

Pros                     

• Higher levels of intellect
• Higher maturity level (or so I hope...)
• Better classes
• Languages offered
• Older boys *
• New people, new friends, less drama
• New teachers
• Better, HEALTHIER lunch options
• GREAT band director (Oh, I play flute, if you didn't know)
• Indoor hallways! (I've never, in my schooling career [not including kindergarten] have never, EVER had enclosed hallways. SUPER DUPER EXCITED!)
• Less annoying, childish, restraining rules (If you went to my school, you would know.. PDA, dress codes.. EVERYTHING was super strict...)
• People I've known forever (elementary friends.. middle school friends... anyone older than me will be there.. well unless they've graduated)
• Football games
• More sports
• DANCES
• Get out earlier

Cons                    

• The classes are harder
• There are hallways, which I've never had before.. kind of scary
• "What if I don't get classes with my friends?!"
• Homework.. and lots of  it (not like Ms. Tucker didn't give us enough already)
• Different atmosphere
• The school is so repetitive, I'm afraid to get lost. :P 
• No room for slacking
• Have to wake up earlier
• No P.E. for me. (both good and bad.)
• A lot of games we (band) have to perform at
• Lose friends...?
• No Ms. Tucker. (A.K.A. the best teacher in the world. ♥) 

Well, there you have it, everyone.. My pro/con list of high school. Just one more month of waiting, shopping,, tanning, popsicle-eating, relaxing, staying up until dawn; sleeping until dusk. It's almost over. :( 

Enjoy the rest of your summer!!

xoxo, 

Marjean.♥

Footnote:                                                                                          

*Older boys are usually more mature, nicer, and more attractive. Therefore, a PRO for going into high school